Struggling

I am at a time when I am trying to lose my mind.
All because I lost my peace which has taken a lifetime to find.
On top of it all its nightfall and cold even when the sun shines.
I just want to step out of my life and see it through the blinds.
Looking at it frame by frame just one scene at a time.
The pressure is high, but I am trying not to crumble singing Victory Today Is Mine!
But recently my whole situation abruptly turned to Hell, leaving me wondering, "Is God testing my faith, or is Satan playing games?"
Right now its to hard to tell.
Although I do know I am at my wit's end and my sanity is frail.
I still hit my knees and thank God in the midst of this for letting me prevail!
Even though I am unsure of the lesson I am supposed to learn.
I just hope I get it soon because this place I pray I never have to return.
Its been series after series of humbling experiences.
I just stay hopeful that I make it through these experiments.
I just know one thing and that is that family will really show you what wicked is.
I just want to turn it all off, but I can't figure out which switch it is.